I have been reading this book, by Paul David Tripp, in preparation of the MB Reformed Women's Retreat and am feeling so convicted right now. God's Words about having idols in our hearts has really being hitting me. Then when I think about where MY heart really is, I almost start to panic. Is my need for my students, children, spouse, my clients to believe in God, and really get His love and care becoming a MONSTER WANT as Tara Barthel puts it. At what point does my good desire become a demand, and then I judge them if they do not serve God the way I think they should, and if they do not serve Him the way I think they should do I punish them by ignoring them, or mocking, criticizing? Wow, sounds like the progression of an idol doesn't it?
Then I start thinking of my own journey as a child of God. At what point did my serving God just because my parents did, doing the things they taught me just because that's how it's DONE in the Reformed Church, become my own faith? When did I realize that THERE REALLY IS A GOD!!! And He loves ME!!! ME with all my dirt, my conniving, spoiled, me first ways!!! Is that what it means to be reborn? When Jesus is teaching Nicodemus (John 3) about having to be born again, is this what He means? That it's the time when our faith in God is REALLY our own and not just what we think our parents, teachers, pastors want us to believe?
Continuing to read Tripp's book, he talks about fruit stapling. When an apple tree bears bad fruit year after year, what do we do about it? Do we go out there with a couple of baskets of good apples, cut off the bad apples and staple the good apples onto the tree? Sounds pretty silly doesn't it but isn't that what we/I so often do? When I want God/people to think I'm pretty good, do I say the right words, do the right things, but all the while inside I'm grumbling about everything. Is my heart really right with God? Because that's the point of Tripp's little stapling story. If the root is bad the tree will never bear good fruit. The only way for the root to get better is to nourish it and feed it fertilizer and other good things. So I guess it's the same with us. If we don't nourish our hearts with the Word of God, through prayer, Bible reading, personal devotions, church worship to hear God's Word and stay close to other people who are trying to serve Him, then we'll soon dry up and wither. John 15 tells us about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches. We need to stay attached to Him so we don't wither. (Boy, I love the book of John. I think studying that book may have been one of the turning points in my life, when I realized that GOD IS REALLY REAL, a real AHA moment.)
Ok, I've said enough for today, especially since this may have been one of my first blogs to really say what is on my heart. If anyone wants to comment or share their AHA moments please do.
