Welch begins this next chapter by explaining that shame cannot always be pinpointed at the exact time and place of its arrival in our own lives, but that it has a very long history. It began in Eden, Gen 3:6-10 when shame's trinity: nakedness, rejection and contamination invaded humanity. First came nakedness after the fall, when Adam and Eve tried to cover it up with fig leaves, but since that didn't feel like enough they also tried to hide. Welch tells us that hiding, covering, self-protection, feeling exposed, are all telltale signs of shame.
Then came rejection, separated from, cast out, or not being invited into God's presence. Modern shame's most common description is rejection according to Welch, but wherever you find rejection you also notice nakedness and contamination. Separation, rejection is also the telltale signs of an insecure attachment. In the Genesis story, God drove out the man and woman, Gen 3:24, and sent them out of the garden of Eden, Gen 3:23.
"Unclean" or contaminated is the third triad of shame and Welch tells us that came later. "Unclean" came first in Exodus and in Leviticus it is the word used to identify shame. Since this all happened before we were born it also explains why shame doesn't necessarily have a specific starting point in our lives. We are connected to Adam and Eve and therefore we feel shame, and often continue to repeat shameful acts ourselves.
Welch believes it is very necessary to begin at the fall of Adam and Eve to truly know the truth about shame. He describes it as taking a walk, knowing that we feel shame because we are linked to a shameful family line in Adam and Eve, we can't escape it and we also have to recognize that we are not different from Adam, repeating his actions every day. Therefore he encourages us to stay on the walk of watching our family history unfold but also watch ourselves.
Shame says we are unpresentable. We often feel the shame before other people but are blind to the fact that shame is also, and primarily, before God. (p. 48) Welch continues to encourage us not to turn away in panic as we learn that just as Adam and Eve brought shame on themselves so do we. If we really want to know cleansing and acceptance we have to be able to distinguish between the shame that we bring on ourselves because of what we do, and the shame that comes from other people's actions to us. Identifying the shame because of our own actions is not easy or painless but it is necessary and relieving as it comes out into the open. Owning what we do wrong, and receiving God's forgiveness is often easier than when the shame is attached to us because of sins done against us.
When shame is made public, we begin to blame, Gen 3:11-13. Shame is disorienting, Welch tells us, often blaming ourselves when we shouldn't, and blaming others when we should be looking at ourselves. Satan wants us to believe bad things happen because we have been bad, but if we look at Jesus and the early disciples, we see bad things happen to them when they were not bad people. The Bible also shows us that if we are sinned against, it's not our fault (Dt 24:16, Ezek 18:18-23). Welch promises to talk more about this later.
On the other hand, when Adam and Eve fell, they blamed others when they should have been taking responsibility for their own choice. Welch explains that when we feel relentless condemnation and don't know where to go for forgiveness and cleansing, we look for a way to prove our innocence (p. 53).
Welch goes on very adamantly, "Whether blame leads you to take the blame for everything or shift the blame for everything, you will experience hopelessness. The only way out of this quagmire is to put things where they really belong. Own what is yours and only what is yours. It sounds easy, but if you have been living with shame, this one might be too advanced for your skill set, at least for now." (p. 53)
Since shame seems to be part of our fallen nature, Welch encourages us by explaining that God recognized this struggle at the very beginning, that our shame problem is important to God and He will DO something about it.
Which extreme do you lean toward: "It's all my fault," or "It's all the other person's fault"? How does the connection between shame and our associations hit you?
Monday, July 8, 2013
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Shame, before Christ
In the next seven chapters Welch now looks at how shame can be traced through three historical periods: before Jesus Christ, during Jesus' life on earth, and after Jesus' resurrection. In the first era he says shame begins as nakedness, followed by rejection and completed by contamination, with all three in contrast to God's holiness, making shame even more shameful. Ultimately however this contrast is intended to remind us of our need for covering, acceptance and cleansing that only God can give.
Naked without Shame
Welch tells us that the Bible is all about shame.
God identifies it.
God experienced it.
You are not alone.
Gen 2:25 describes Adam and Eve, both naked and not ashamed. BUT THAT CHANGED. Shame came into the picture:( But watch out, every step we take into God's story will bring a little more hope, sometimes gently -- feeling understood, other times so amazing it'll take our breath away. (p. 41)
The thing is though, Scripture is about shame from the beginning to the end and we have to figure out the texts to consider, and there are MANY of them, which should give us hope! In summary it is the GOSPEL, when we receive things we don't deserve!!. Welch adds a comment here, "if what follows doesn't sound like good news to you, you are not really hearing the story. On the other hand, if it sounds too good to be true, you are hearing correctly. Your heart and mind just need to catch up to its reality. YOU WON'T FIND THIS HOPE ANYWHERE ELSE (my emphasis)."
In the beginning there was no shame. People walked around with no shame, nude, with no concerns about their bodies, no concerns about what they had done, they feared no critical judgments because their bodies were flawless, they had done nothing wrong, no one was critical or condescending. Sounds wonderful!!!
We have to start there, according to Welch, because it's important to know that shame shouldn't be part of the human condition, so shame is like a thief, a robber, who shouldn't be there!!
The problem is though, that if I feel like I am shame, how do I get rid of myself, cleanse myself of me????? Scripture tells us that we have something absolutely amazing - better than Eden after the death and resurrection of Jesus. Scripture takes awhile to get to the details but "better" is definitely there!!
I pray that everyone may have the beginning of some hope at this point.
Naked without Shame
Welch tells us that the Bible is all about shame.
God identifies it.
God experienced it.
You are not alone.
Gen 2:25 describes Adam and Eve, both naked and not ashamed. BUT THAT CHANGED. Shame came into the picture:( But watch out, every step we take into God's story will bring a little more hope, sometimes gently -- feeling understood, other times so amazing it'll take our breath away. (p. 41)
The thing is though, Scripture is about shame from the beginning to the end and we have to figure out the texts to consider, and there are MANY of them, which should give us hope! In summary it is the GOSPEL, when we receive things we don't deserve!!. Welch adds a comment here, "if what follows doesn't sound like good news to you, you are not really hearing the story. On the other hand, if it sounds too good to be true, you are hearing correctly. Your heart and mind just need to catch up to its reality. YOU WON'T FIND THIS HOPE ANYWHERE ELSE (my emphasis)."
In the beginning there was no shame. People walked around with no shame, nude, with no concerns about their bodies, no concerns about what they had done, they feared no critical judgments because their bodies were flawless, they had done nothing wrong, no one was critical or condescending. Sounds wonderful!!!
We have to start there, according to Welch, because it's important to know that shame shouldn't be part of the human condition, so shame is like a thief, a robber, who shouldn't be there!!
The problem is though, that if I feel like I am shame, how do I get rid of myself, cleanse myself of me????? Scripture tells us that we have something absolutely amazing - better than Eden after the death and resurrection of Jesus. Scripture takes awhile to get to the details but "better" is definitely there!!
I pray that everyone may have the beginning of some hope at this point.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Shame and Disgust
Chapter 4 is the last chapter in uncovering shame and begins connecting the three human experiences:
"You feel like an outcast. You don't belong.
You feel naked. While everyone else is walking around with their clothes on, you feel exposed and vulnerable. You are seen, and what others see is not pretty.
You feel unclean. Something is wrong with you. You are dirty. Even worse, you are contaminated. There is a difference between being a bit muddy and harbouring a deadly, contagious virus." (p.27)
Tough, tough words but this is the only way to uncover, expose it because it is everywhere. Welch gives a list of places where it is seen -- depression, anger, anorexia, fear and withdrawal, exhibitionism, addiction, cutting, fears of being exposed, suicide, doubts that God could ever love you, you can't forgive yourself, you're a failure. Every culture has its worthless and honoured and Welch says the schoolyard is the world in miniature, where the caste system falls into place. The picked on are the most visible, but underneath the popular child's belittling and powerfulness, is often a child who goes home to an insecure attachment household. Their bravado is a coverup for the belittling they often perceive.
To really dig out shame we have to give it the tough language it truly describes:
unclean defiled disgraced dishonoured outcast worthless filthy unlovable loathed shunned discarded scorned disgusting repulsive vile
Sometimes it may mean opening up a number of different layers to truly get to the shame layer and sometimes shame at the extreme has no words. The only way we can express shame, according to Welch, is by doing disgusting things: vomiting, promiscuity, intentional failure in work or relationships.
Sometimes we do shame, sometimes we are shamed, and many times we are a combination of both (p.33). The world spits shame on other people and most recipients believe they deserve it (Num 12:14, Deut 25:8-9, WWII concentration camps dehumanizing Jews).
The language of shame is extreme and when we hear it often enough we believe it, but we cannot minimize it. Shame can be cleansed but we have to confront it. I'm going to finish today with Welch's words on p. 35, "To be human is to experience shame, but to be human is also to hope." You don't have to stay unclean forever!!
"You feel like an outcast. You don't belong.
You feel naked. While everyone else is walking around with their clothes on, you feel exposed and vulnerable. You are seen, and what others see is not pretty.
You feel unclean. Something is wrong with you. You are dirty. Even worse, you are contaminated. There is a difference between being a bit muddy and harbouring a deadly, contagious virus." (p.27)
Tough, tough words but this is the only way to uncover, expose it because it is everywhere. Welch gives a list of places where it is seen -- depression, anger, anorexia, fear and withdrawal, exhibitionism, addiction, cutting, fears of being exposed, suicide, doubts that God could ever love you, you can't forgive yourself, you're a failure. Every culture has its worthless and honoured and Welch says the schoolyard is the world in miniature, where the caste system falls into place. The picked on are the most visible, but underneath the popular child's belittling and powerfulness, is often a child who goes home to an insecure attachment household. Their bravado is a coverup for the belittling they often perceive.
To really dig out shame we have to give it the tough language it truly describes:
unclean defiled disgraced dishonoured outcast worthless filthy unlovable loathed shunned discarded scorned disgusting repulsive vile
Sometimes it may mean opening up a number of different layers to truly get to the shame layer and sometimes shame at the extreme has no words. The only way we can express shame, according to Welch, is by doing disgusting things: vomiting, promiscuity, intentional failure in work or relationships.
Sometimes we do shame, sometimes we are shamed, and many times we are a combination of both (p.33). The world spits shame on other people and most recipients believe they deserve it (Num 12:14, Deut 25:8-9, WWII concentration camps dehumanizing Jews).
The language of shame is extreme and when we hear it often enough we believe it, but we cannot minimize it. Shame can be cleansed but we have to confront it. I'm going to finish today with Welch's words on p. 35, "To be human is to experience shame, but to be human is also to hope." You don't have to stay unclean forever!!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Shame Through the Years
This chapter starts with :
What is Shame?
You are different
rejected
exposed
contaminated.
Then Welch goes on to show that shame is nothing new in this world, quoting a book by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter. In this book a woman must wear the letter A as punishment for her adultery, and even though the man involved did not have to publicly wear the letter he had privately etched the letter on his own chest. Most of us will notice a little bit of shame in our lives but some have reminders every day. The point of Welch's book is help you so that all shame is gone, whether private or public.
In earlier days when someone broke the law they stood in either stocks, where your feet were locked in yet your hands were free to defend yourself from things thrown at you, or a pillory where arms and head were locked in so you were totally defenseless. The good thing about either of the above is that when you were free, it was like a public announcement that you were now socially acceptable.
Shame is still the the main ingredient of punishments today, giving the punisher power, and the victim often tries to make sense of it by believing they got what they deserved. This is the most powerful lie that the devil wants us to believe so we must be very aware and ALWAYS assume that shame accumulates lies!!!!
Can we identify the scarlet A that we wear, either publicly or privately? What is that like? Can we begin to identify some of the lies that are attached to our shame?
What is Shame?
You are different
rejected
exposed
contaminated.
Then Welch goes on to show that shame is nothing new in this world, quoting a book by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter. In this book a woman must wear the letter A as punishment for her adultery, and even though the man involved did not have to publicly wear the letter he had privately etched the letter on his own chest. Most of us will notice a little bit of shame in our lives but some have reminders every day. The point of Welch's book is help you so that all shame is gone, whether private or public.
In earlier days when someone broke the law they stood in either stocks, where your feet were locked in yet your hands were free to defend yourself from things thrown at you, or a pillory where arms and head were locked in so you were totally defenseless. The good thing about either of the above is that when you were free, it was like a public announcement that you were now socially acceptable.
Shame is still the the main ingredient of punishments today, giving the punisher power, and the victim often tries to make sense of it by believing they got what they deserved. This is the most powerful lie that the devil wants us to believe so we must be very aware and ALWAYS assume that shame accumulates lies!!!!
Can we identify the scarlet A that we wear, either publicly or privately? What is that like? Can we begin to identify some of the lies that are attached to our shame?
Friday, June 28, 2013
Shame Exposed
When we dig up potatoes, we expose them and take a look at them, looking carefully to recognize the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. That's what Welch is doing in this next chapter and it begins, ""I suck." That's what shame says on a good day."
He then goes on to really look at shame, uncovering and putting words to identify the dehumanizing nature of shame. Shame is a silent killer, has a death wish, worthless, failure seem to be inscribed on our birth certificates, shame says "you are not acceptable. You are a mistake." You hear that from others over the years until you make it your own, "I am not acceptable, I am a mistake" and so whenever something goes wrong you believe you are the one at fault, you brought the other person's anger/contempt, being hurt or rejected is your fault, being alive is your fault, being born is your fault, being is your fault. (p. 10)
Shame attaches itself to our humanness and is very common, often hiding in guilt's shadow. There is a difference between guilt and shame and the Bible talks about shame (nakedness, dishonour, disgrace, defilement) about 10 times more than guilt. Welch says Guilt lives in the courtroom, where you are responsible for your wrongdoing, and you expect punishment and need forgiveness. However he describes Shame as living in the community although the community can feel like a courtroom. The community says "You don't belong--you are unacceptable, unclean and disgraced. The shamed person feels worthless, expects rejection and needs cleansing, fellowship, love and acceptance (emphasis mine). It is only through the security of attachment to God/people that cleansing will come.
Welch says that in order to fight shame we first have to face shame and describe it. "Once out, it will put up a fight. But there is a path that actually leads away from shame and ends in acceptance and honour. Otherwise, there would be no point in doing anything beyond trying to live with it." (p. 12)
So Welch continues to describe it by looking at some basics of shame:
Therefore he summarizes what we know about it:
He then goes on to really look at shame, uncovering and putting words to identify the dehumanizing nature of shame. Shame is a silent killer, has a death wish, worthless, failure seem to be inscribed on our birth certificates, shame says "you are not acceptable. You are a mistake." You hear that from others over the years until you make it your own, "I am not acceptable, I am a mistake" and so whenever something goes wrong you believe you are the one at fault, you brought the other person's anger/contempt, being hurt or rejected is your fault, being alive is your fault, being born is your fault, being is your fault. (p. 10)
Shame attaches itself to our humanness and is very common, often hiding in guilt's shadow. There is a difference between guilt and shame and the Bible talks about shame (nakedness, dishonour, disgrace, defilement) about 10 times more than guilt. Welch says Guilt lives in the courtroom, where you are responsible for your wrongdoing, and you expect punishment and need forgiveness. However he describes Shame as living in the community although the community can feel like a courtroom. The community says "You don't belong--you are unacceptable, unclean and disgraced. The shamed person feels worthless, expects rejection and needs cleansing, fellowship, love and acceptance (emphasis mine). It is only through the security of attachment to God/people that cleansing will come.
Welch says that in order to fight shame we first have to face shame and describe it. "Once out, it will put up a fight. But there is a path that actually leads away from shame and ends in acceptance and honour. Otherwise, there would be no point in doing anything beyond trying to live with it." (p. 12)
So Welch continues to describe it by looking at some basics of shame:
- life-dominating and stubborn, squatting in your heart, refusing to leave
- you feel so wrong, but don't know why
- blame always seems to end up at your doorstep
- you still feel the shameful moment as vividly as the day it happened. Sometimes it even feels worse
- sometimes shame grabs hold of your heart and life because of something that happened to you
- any sexual violation
- unfaithfulness/betrayal by a spouse/close friend/church community
- verbal abuse
- being treated like an object and so experiencing humiliation and shame
- growing up in a home with an insecure attachment -- parent angry, unpredictable, cold, neglectful, rejecting or demeaning
- adopted children can feel different even though adoptive parents love them dearly, they can still hear the message inside their heads, "you were rejected, somebody didn't want you, you are not like everyone else."
- if you're noticeably different - physically, intellectually, financially, mentally
- sometimes shame attaches to you because of what you did or do
- addiction
- homosexuality
- something scandalous according to your community
- victims of sexual violation often report perverted sexual imaginations
- what do you want to hide?
- sometimes shame is the result of our associations
- something shameful happened in our family - suicide, poverty, public immorality
- you belong to a people group that committed atrocities
Therefore he summarizes what we know about it:
- Shame is blended into the present human condition, it is part of being human.
- Shame can be removed but not by something we do. There is nothing we can do to get rid of it. There is only one remedy that can change and transform and it is a journey to discover the remedy and let that remedy wash you all over.
- Shame is best tackled in the context of relationship. It is in the womb of attachment that we grow and mature. Do not allow shame to intimidate you into silence.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
"Shame Interrupted" by Ed Welch
This summer I am re-reading this book and so I thought I might post some of my gleanings.
I have experienced shame and in some ways it has been debilitating because I don't feel like talking to others about it, don't want to associate with people from where it originated, don't feel like they want me around.
When I read Welch's work, I recognize his definition for shame - a deep sense that I am unacceptable because of something I did, was done to me or that I was associated with something or someone that was shameful. I feel exposed and humiliated. I do not feel invited into someone's presence. This is also what Gordon Neufeld describes as our primary need.
As humans we need to be attached to someone, to feel invited into their presence. God placed that need to be attached to Him in all of us and created families with parents as the responsible adults, to whom we look for direction to image that. As long as we are attached to God/other humans, we have the freedom to mature. Maturity is being adaptive -- we can change because we can't change things around us, it is the healing process and the way our brain normally develops. Maturity is also being integrative - being able to recognize and accept our separate feelings, like a plural whole. This really reminds me of God as Trinity - 3 persons in one, together without losing their own separateness. Attachment to God/other people is the secure place from which we mature and grow to be like Christ, grow to be responsible and compassionate people.
Shame breaks that maturation process, causing us to face separation. When we face separation three powerful emotions are experienced -- frustration, alarm and pursuit of attachment. Our brain shuts down to protect us which is often a good thing at first, but after awhile it causes us to become stuck there and we don't grow to be the people God/others want us to be.
So shame is real, shame makes you an outcast, shame makes you feel contaminated and shame needs to be put in words. When we name it, claim it, take up a relationship with it, we can deal with it, work through it and hear God's healing Words.
I'll finish today with the opening words of chapter 2:
What is shame?
You are shunned.
Faces are turned away from you.
They ignore you, as if you don't exist.
You are naked.
Faces are turned toward you.
They stare at you, as if you are hideous.
You are worthless, and it's no secret.
You are of little or no value to those whose opinions matter to you.
I have experienced shame and in some ways it has been debilitating because I don't feel like talking to others about it, don't want to associate with people from where it originated, don't feel like they want me around.
When I read Welch's work, I recognize his definition for shame - a deep sense that I am unacceptable because of something I did, was done to me or that I was associated with something or someone that was shameful. I feel exposed and humiliated. I do not feel invited into someone's presence. This is also what Gordon Neufeld describes as our primary need.
As humans we need to be attached to someone, to feel invited into their presence. God placed that need to be attached to Him in all of us and created families with parents as the responsible adults, to whom we look for direction to image that. As long as we are attached to God/other humans, we have the freedom to mature. Maturity is being adaptive -- we can change because we can't change things around us, it is the healing process and the way our brain normally develops. Maturity is also being integrative - being able to recognize and accept our separate feelings, like a plural whole. This really reminds me of God as Trinity - 3 persons in one, together without losing their own separateness. Attachment to God/other people is the secure place from which we mature and grow to be like Christ, grow to be responsible and compassionate people.
Shame breaks that maturation process, causing us to face separation. When we face separation three powerful emotions are experienced -- frustration, alarm and pursuit of attachment. Our brain shuts down to protect us which is often a good thing at first, but after awhile it causes us to become stuck there and we don't grow to be the people God/others want us to be.
So shame is real, shame makes you an outcast, shame makes you feel contaminated and shame needs to be put in words. When we name it, claim it, take up a relationship with it, we can deal with it, work through it and hear God's healing Words.
I'll finish today with the opening words of chapter 2:
What is shame?
You are shunned.
Faces are turned away from you.
They ignore you, as if you don't exist.
You are naked.
Faces are turned toward you.
They stare at you, as if you are hideous.
You are worthless, and it's no secret.
You are of little or no value to those whose opinions matter to you.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands
I have been reading this book, by Paul David Tripp, in preparation of the MB Reformed Women's Retreat and am feeling so convicted right now. God's Words about having idols in our hearts has really being hitting me. Then when I think about where MY heart really is, I almost start to panic. Is my need for my students, children, spouse, my clients to believe in God, and really get His love and care becoming a MONSTER WANT as Tara Barthel puts it. At what point does my good desire become a demand, and then I judge them if they do not serve God the way I think they should, and if they do not serve Him the way I think they should do I punish them by ignoring them, or mocking, criticizing? Wow, sounds like the progression of an idol doesn't it?
Then I start thinking of my own journey as a child of God. At what point did my serving God just because my parents did, doing the things they taught me just because that's how it's DONE in the Reformed Church, become my own faith? When did I realize that THERE REALLY IS A GOD!!! And He loves ME!!! ME with all my dirt, my conniving, spoiled, me first ways!!! Is that what it means to be reborn? When Jesus is teaching Nicodemus (John 3) about having to be born again, is this what He means? That it's the time when our faith in God is REALLY our own and not just what we think our parents, teachers, pastors want us to believe?
Continuing to read Tripp's book, he talks about fruit stapling. When an apple tree bears bad fruit year after year, what do we do about it? Do we go out there with a couple of baskets of good apples, cut off the bad apples and staple the good apples onto the tree? Sounds pretty silly doesn't it but isn't that what we/I so often do? When I want God/people to think I'm pretty good, do I say the right words, do the right things, but all the while inside I'm grumbling about everything. Is my heart really right with God? Because that's the point of Tripp's little stapling story. If the root is bad the tree will never bear good fruit. The only way for the root to get better is to nourish it and feed it fertilizer and other good things. So I guess it's the same with us. If we don't nourish our hearts with the Word of God, through prayer, Bible reading, personal devotions, church worship to hear God's Word and stay close to other people who are trying to serve Him, then we'll soon dry up and wither. John 15 tells us about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches. We need to stay attached to Him so we don't wither. (Boy, I love the book of John. I think studying that book may have been one of the turning points in my life, when I realized that GOD IS REALLY REAL, a real AHA moment.)
Ok, I've said enough for today, especially since this may have been one of my first blogs to really say what is on my heart. If anyone wants to comment or share their AHA moments please do.
Then I start thinking of my own journey as a child of God. At what point did my serving God just because my parents did, doing the things they taught me just because that's how it's DONE in the Reformed Church, become my own faith? When did I realize that THERE REALLY IS A GOD!!! And He loves ME!!! ME with all my dirt, my conniving, spoiled, me first ways!!! Is that what it means to be reborn? When Jesus is teaching Nicodemus (John 3) about having to be born again, is this what He means? That it's the time when our faith in God is REALLY our own and not just what we think our parents, teachers, pastors want us to believe?
Continuing to read Tripp's book, he talks about fruit stapling. When an apple tree bears bad fruit year after year, what do we do about it? Do we go out there with a couple of baskets of good apples, cut off the bad apples and staple the good apples onto the tree? Sounds pretty silly doesn't it but isn't that what we/I so often do? When I want God/people to think I'm pretty good, do I say the right words, do the right things, but all the while inside I'm grumbling about everything. Is my heart really right with God? Because that's the point of Tripp's little stapling story. If the root is bad the tree will never bear good fruit. The only way for the root to get better is to nourish it and feed it fertilizer and other good things. So I guess it's the same with us. If we don't nourish our hearts with the Word of God, through prayer, Bible reading, personal devotions, church worship to hear God's Word and stay close to other people who are trying to serve Him, then we'll soon dry up and wither. John 15 tells us about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches. We need to stay attached to Him so we don't wither. (Boy, I love the book of John. I think studying that book may have been one of the turning points in my life, when I realized that GOD IS REALLY REAL, a real AHA moment.)
Ok, I've said enough for today, especially since this may have been one of my first blogs to really say what is on my heart. If anyone wants to comment or share their AHA moments please do.
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