"What is the way out of shame?
The unclean become clean. The clean become holy.
The naked are clothed in royal garments.
The outcasts are accepted as children of the honoured King.
You might decide that life is worth living." (Welch, p. 76)
Humans were created naked and unashamed; they made themselves naked and ashamed, so they ran and hid, not wanting to be seen. But God found them and covered them up with animal skins.
Welch now describes how God established the priesthood to lead His people in worship, but that He gave them the clothes to wear, beautiful clothes, sacred and holy, set apart by God Himself just as its wearers were. Now we really begin to see how God wages the war against shame as He gives glory and beauty to His people. Glory, beauty, consecrate -- all words to identify holy things belonging to God. Splendour is possible because God makes it splendid and that's what we need to hold onto and just let wash over us. Don't fight it! Just rest in it! Stop the BUTS and just sit for a moment and let that thought that God makes you splendid sit with you!!!
On regular days, the priests were just regular people, doing regular chores, eating, drinking, sleeping, cleaning, parents, coaches, neighbours.... The only thing was that their "job" was priest, a job they didn't earn but was given to them by God. Just regular people like you and me, until they got dressed. Then they looked SPECTACULAR. (p. 79)
When you read the description of the priests' clothes in Exodus 28, you see the detail that God designed into the clothing because whoever wore that clothing became associated with the Holy King. It changed the status of whoever wore God's designer clothes.
But how does this help us? Welch describes three ways:
1. the priests were normal, sinful human beings just like us -- you don't have to be perfect to be made holy.
2. OT culture was like ours, your identity is tied to who you represent, usually a king, prime minister, country and the status of that king, PM, country is your status. We are Israelites, God's chosen covenant people so we are tied to God, our identity is tied to God's identity!
3. The priests wore the Israelites -- precious stones symbolizing Israel's 12 tribes were on their garments (Ex 28:29). In a very real sense, the people entered the presence of God when the priests did, and whenever you go into the presence of God, you WILL look a bit more glorious!
Welch encourages us to keep with the slowly unfolding story in the OT. Splendour comes back into the world through a group of old, bearded men who you wouldn't think were anything special until they wore their royal priestly robes!! We are connected to those priests. 1 Peter 2:9 "You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood." Wow, I'm a royal priest? Sounds hard to believe but don't fight it, just relax and let those words sit with you again. You are a royal priest!!! Let the words roll over you, sit with you.....
Welch explains that these royal garments make us stand out, but they also make us fit in. They announce that we BELONG. When we wear a special garment, we're no longer alone, outcast and we don't act the way we once did.
When you get a uniform for your job, think police officers, paramedics..., you represent that company, job, adopting the values of that job -- healing, safety, service -- whatever the company values you put on and show that to others. It's like a clothing makeover, changing you from a regular joe, to company rep, shoulders squared, stand a bit straighter, adding a bit of a swagger....
Now think about wearing the priestly robes of our God, connecting us to Him, belonging to Him, we have a purpose!! There is a reason for us to get out of bed now and move toward other people, to bless others is part of our job description (Num 6:22-27).
This may sound hard right now, especially if you are having a hard time believing God is good, but just hang onto the hope and fight that little voice that wants to trash all of this. Tell it to STOP, and just relax, imagine that you are wearing God's designer outfit, imagine wearing LOVE which is the biggest value of God. Let your heart fill with the idea that God gives you love. Think about a pail filling with water, your heart filling with God's love. When the pail gets full, it starts to overflow and that's the same with us. When our hearts fill with God's love we will overflow with God's love (Lk 6:45). That's what it means to fulfill our purpose of priestly blessing (p. 83).
Friday, July 12, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Clean and Unclean, Holy and Common
"What is the way out of shame?
Knowledge that leads to belief.
Belief that leads to trust:
trust in Jesus
trust in His Words
trust in His promises." (p.64)
For me, the hope out of shame begins in this chapter where Welch discusses the OT teaching of sacrifices (the part most of us skip over) but the point he really wants to make is how things were categorized into clean and unclean, common and holy and the reasons for that. Lev 10:10. Welch tells us that with these four basic categories we get the basic building blocks of the spiritual universe and everyone fits into two of those four groups. The groups are very distinctly separate --> you can't be a little clean or sort of unclean. Clean is acceptable, normal; unclean is defiled, cast out, abnormal. The clean can't cleanse the unclean but the unclean can contaminate the clean and that's why the unclean were separated from the clean. Think about how lepers were treated in Biblical times. (p. 66)
Welch goes on to describe how uncleanness strikes us all (Is 64:6) because of something we have done or what what has been done to us. God makes a point about who belongs in the category of uncleanness (anyone associated with death, idol worship, who violates God's intended order) whether perpetrator or victim, because He wants to make clear that uncleanness does not belong in His Kingdom. Welch is quick to point out though: "That doesn't mean the unclean are unwelcome, but it means God must do something for them before they enter His presence."
The OT spends a lot of time explaining how people could become part of the group again if they became unclean, through sacrifices, but the important difference for us today is that we do not need to find a priest to make a sacrifice for us.
To be clean is shalom, peace, everything is right, the way it's supposed to be, but for us who know shame, being clean is a place we know exists, where most other people live but we never will. We can't just walk from our unclean, shameful place into the part of town where the clean people live. In the OT, Welch reminds us that, the way of cleanness went through the temple where the cost of the sacrifice wasn't important, but the shedding of blood was. The OT was teaching us that a very significant cost was involved to move from unclean to clean, but after the sacrifice of blood you were clean and could rejoin the community and be fully accepted. No one could point at you and say you were still unclean after the priest had pronounced you clean!
In the next part of the chapter Welch deals with the struggle we might still be having if we find it hard to accept that sacrifices done on our behalf can make us clean. He is very strong on this part and I would encourage anyone struggling with this to really take a good hard look at yourself --> do you still feel that you have to DO something, or are you just stubborn and angry with the contaminator, playing the victim card, your pride is holding you back, you are believing the lies of the devil!! Beware, he is prowling around like a lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Pet 5:6-11.
The OT system may seem to have its advantages with the way to becoming clean following a set of prescribed steps, and then in a ceremony of closure you were clean and fit completely back into the community. Welch reminds us that this only gets better as we continue our walk through God's Word, the OT rituals are only a warm-up!!
Welch finishes the chapter by also looking at holy and common, with clean and unclean having the same parent -- the common which is separate from the holy. The category of holy is all about God. God is holy and anything He declares uniquely His is also holy, set apart to God. Only the priests in the OT had access to the parts of the tabernacle closest to the Holy of Holies. If you were unclean in the OT you could become clean yet there was still a barrier between you and God. Yet God said in Lev 11:45, that He called the entire people of Israel holy. God made them His own people and as God's covenant people don't we fit into that category?
Finally Welch looks at the common category which relates to people and all created things. In the OT the common included the clean after it was consecrated. In the NT the journey from common to holy is sanctification, which is a process where we become more and more like Christ --> we're Christians under Construction.
Welch finishes the chapter by saying, "whether we know it or not, what we truly want is to be holy, to enjoy the presence of the Holy One. That is the deepest answer to the problem of shame." (p.75)
Knowledge that leads to belief.
Belief that leads to trust:
trust in Jesus
trust in His Words
trust in His promises." (p.64)
For me, the hope out of shame begins in this chapter where Welch discusses the OT teaching of sacrifices (the part most of us skip over) but the point he really wants to make is how things were categorized into clean and unclean, common and holy and the reasons for that. Lev 10:10. Welch tells us that with these four basic categories we get the basic building blocks of the spiritual universe and everyone fits into two of those four groups. The groups are very distinctly separate --> you can't be a little clean or sort of unclean. Clean is acceptable, normal; unclean is defiled, cast out, abnormal. The clean can't cleanse the unclean but the unclean can contaminate the clean and that's why the unclean were separated from the clean. Think about how lepers were treated in Biblical times. (p. 66)
Welch goes on to describe how uncleanness strikes us all (Is 64:6) because of something we have done or what what has been done to us. God makes a point about who belongs in the category of uncleanness (anyone associated with death, idol worship, who violates God's intended order) whether perpetrator or victim, because He wants to make clear that uncleanness does not belong in His Kingdom. Welch is quick to point out though: "That doesn't mean the unclean are unwelcome, but it means God must do something for them before they enter His presence."
The OT spends a lot of time explaining how people could become part of the group again if they became unclean, through sacrifices, but the important difference for us today is that we do not need to find a priest to make a sacrifice for us.
To be clean is shalom, peace, everything is right, the way it's supposed to be, but for us who know shame, being clean is a place we know exists, where most other people live but we never will. We can't just walk from our unclean, shameful place into the part of town where the clean people live. In the OT, Welch reminds us that, the way of cleanness went through the temple where the cost of the sacrifice wasn't important, but the shedding of blood was. The OT was teaching us that a very significant cost was involved to move from unclean to clean, but after the sacrifice of blood you were clean and could rejoin the community and be fully accepted. No one could point at you and say you were still unclean after the priest had pronounced you clean!
In the next part of the chapter Welch deals with the struggle we might still be having if we find it hard to accept that sacrifices done on our behalf can make us clean. He is very strong on this part and I would encourage anyone struggling with this to really take a good hard look at yourself --> do you still feel that you have to DO something, or are you just stubborn and angry with the contaminator, playing the victim card, your pride is holding you back, you are believing the lies of the devil!! Beware, he is prowling around like a lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Pet 5:6-11.
The OT system may seem to have its advantages with the way to becoming clean following a set of prescribed steps, and then in a ceremony of closure you were clean and fit completely back into the community. Welch reminds us that this only gets better as we continue our walk through God's Word, the OT rituals are only a warm-up!!
Welch finishes the chapter by also looking at holy and common, with clean and unclean having the same parent -- the common which is separate from the holy. The category of holy is all about God. God is holy and anything He declares uniquely His is also holy, set apart to God. Only the priests in the OT had access to the parts of the tabernacle closest to the Holy of Holies. If you were unclean in the OT you could become clean yet there was still a barrier between you and God. Yet God said in Lev 11:45, that He called the entire people of Israel holy. God made them His own people and as God's covenant people don't we fit into that category?
Finally Welch looks at the common category which relates to people and all created things. In the OT the common included the clean after it was consecrated. In the NT the journey from common to holy is sanctification, which is a process where we become more and more like Christ --> we're Christians under Construction.
Welch finishes the chapter by saying, "whether we know it or not, what we truly want is to be holy, to enjoy the presence of the Holy One. That is the deepest answer to the problem of shame." (p.75)
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
The Outcast
Now in chapter 7 Welch looks at how shame comes in the form of being an outcast. When we are filled with shame we feel cast out, just as Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden, Cain was cast out of his family, and then there was Hagar, Gen 16:1-15. Often when we read these stories we can really identify with these real people, but that is as far as it goes. We don't see the hope that these histories include. We'll often think these histories are helpful for someone else, someone less contaminated than we are, that we're not worthy.
In fact Welch warns us that we often treat HOPE as a contaminated substance. We don't think we deserve hope and when people tell us things like, "it isn't your fault," "you are created in the image of God, so you are worth it," "God doesn't make junk," "God loves you," or we try to show God how hard we are trying, or remember that we are loved by a parent, friend, etc none of these things work to make us feel better. Even when we know that God chooses a small group of people to be the line for the Messiah, that He honours people who are not the firstborn, He brings judgment on nations who treat the poor, the widow and the orphan in the wrong way, that still doesn't seem to help us. Nothing seems to sink into our thick skulls, we just want to go back to our comfortable place of our dark prisons of shame. That's home. That's what we are used to. (p. 59)
Welch then encourages us to try something that goes so against our natural ways: instead of looking at ourselves, look at God! Get to KNOW God, who He is first and foremost. The passage Welch uses to start with is Deuteronomy 7:6-8, where he encourages us to get to know God as KING. God invites us into His Kingdom, He is faithful to us because of His love, not our worthiness, not because we are lovable but because GOD IS LOVE. We have to get over our pride, our sense of self-esteem, or anything that would make us acceptable to God.
Welch sums it up when he says, "You can turn inward, in which case you are looking for a little self-worth to bring to the Lord, and that is pride. Or you can turn to Him and discover that He has a heart for the unworthy." (p. 62)
Let's look at WHO God is and not even look at ourselves right now. Let the knowledge of WHO our covenant God IS, just flow over us without trying to apply it to ourselves. Let's try to find out what it is about God's character that causes us to love Him and turn toward Him.
In fact Welch warns us that we often treat HOPE as a contaminated substance. We don't think we deserve hope and when people tell us things like, "it isn't your fault," "you are created in the image of God, so you are worth it," "God doesn't make junk," "God loves you," or we try to show God how hard we are trying, or remember that we are loved by a parent, friend, etc none of these things work to make us feel better. Even when we know that God chooses a small group of people to be the line for the Messiah, that He honours people who are not the firstborn, He brings judgment on nations who treat the poor, the widow and the orphan in the wrong way, that still doesn't seem to help us. Nothing seems to sink into our thick skulls, we just want to go back to our comfortable place of our dark prisons of shame. That's home. That's what we are used to. (p. 59)
Welch then encourages us to try something that goes so against our natural ways: instead of looking at ourselves, look at God! Get to KNOW God, who He is first and foremost. The passage Welch uses to start with is Deuteronomy 7:6-8, where he encourages us to get to know God as KING. God invites us into His Kingdom, He is faithful to us because of His love, not our worthiness, not because we are lovable but because GOD IS LOVE. We have to get over our pride, our sense of self-esteem, or anything that would make us acceptable to God.
Welch sums it up when he says, "You can turn inward, in which case you are looking for a little self-worth to bring to the Lord, and that is pride. Or you can turn to Him and discover that He has a heart for the unworthy." (p. 62)
Let's look at WHO God is and not even look at ourselves right now. Let the knowledge of WHO our covenant God IS, just flow over us without trying to apply it to ourselves. Let's try to find out what it is about God's character that causes us to love Him and turn toward Him.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Naked with Shame
Welch begins this next chapter by explaining that shame cannot always be pinpointed at the exact time and place of its arrival in our own lives, but that it has a very long history. It began in Eden, Gen 3:6-10 when shame's trinity: nakedness, rejection and contamination invaded humanity. First came nakedness after the fall, when Adam and Eve tried to cover it up with fig leaves, but since that didn't feel like enough they also tried to hide. Welch tells us that hiding, covering, self-protection, feeling exposed, are all telltale signs of shame.
Then came rejection, separated from, cast out, or not being invited into God's presence. Modern shame's most common description is rejection according to Welch, but wherever you find rejection you also notice nakedness and contamination. Separation, rejection is also the telltale signs of an insecure attachment. In the Genesis story, God drove out the man and woman, Gen 3:24, and sent them out of the garden of Eden, Gen 3:23.
"Unclean" or contaminated is the third triad of shame and Welch tells us that came later. "Unclean" came first in Exodus and in Leviticus it is the word used to identify shame. Since this all happened before we were born it also explains why shame doesn't necessarily have a specific starting point in our lives. We are connected to Adam and Eve and therefore we feel shame, and often continue to repeat shameful acts ourselves.
Welch believes it is very necessary to begin at the fall of Adam and Eve to truly know the truth about shame. He describes it as taking a walk, knowing that we feel shame because we are linked to a shameful family line in Adam and Eve, we can't escape it and we also have to recognize that we are not different from Adam, repeating his actions every day. Therefore he encourages us to stay on the walk of watching our family history unfold but also watch ourselves.
Shame says we are unpresentable. We often feel the shame before other people but are blind to the fact that shame is also, and primarily, before God. (p. 48) Welch continues to encourage us not to turn away in panic as we learn that just as Adam and Eve brought shame on themselves so do we. If we really want to know cleansing and acceptance we have to be able to distinguish between the shame that we bring on ourselves because of what we do, and the shame that comes from other people's actions to us. Identifying the shame because of our own actions is not easy or painless but it is necessary and relieving as it comes out into the open. Owning what we do wrong, and receiving God's forgiveness is often easier than when the shame is attached to us because of sins done against us.
When shame is made public, we begin to blame, Gen 3:11-13. Shame is disorienting, Welch tells us, often blaming ourselves when we shouldn't, and blaming others when we should be looking at ourselves. Satan wants us to believe bad things happen because we have been bad, but if we look at Jesus and the early disciples, we see bad things happen to them when they were not bad people. The Bible also shows us that if we are sinned against, it's not our fault (Dt 24:16, Ezek 18:18-23). Welch promises to talk more about this later.
On the other hand, when Adam and Eve fell, they blamed others when they should have been taking responsibility for their own choice. Welch explains that when we feel relentless condemnation and don't know where to go for forgiveness and cleansing, we look for a way to prove our innocence (p. 53).
Welch goes on very adamantly, "Whether blame leads you to take the blame for everything or shift the blame for everything, you will experience hopelessness. The only way out of this quagmire is to put things where they really belong. Own what is yours and only what is yours. It sounds easy, but if you have been living with shame, this one might be too advanced for your skill set, at least for now." (p. 53)
Since shame seems to be part of our fallen nature, Welch encourages us by explaining that God recognized this struggle at the very beginning, that our shame problem is important to God and He will DO something about it.
Which extreme do you lean toward: "It's all my fault," or "It's all the other person's fault"? How does the connection between shame and our associations hit you?
Then came rejection, separated from, cast out, or not being invited into God's presence. Modern shame's most common description is rejection according to Welch, but wherever you find rejection you also notice nakedness and contamination. Separation, rejection is also the telltale signs of an insecure attachment. In the Genesis story, God drove out the man and woman, Gen 3:24, and sent them out of the garden of Eden, Gen 3:23.
"Unclean" or contaminated is the third triad of shame and Welch tells us that came later. "Unclean" came first in Exodus and in Leviticus it is the word used to identify shame. Since this all happened before we were born it also explains why shame doesn't necessarily have a specific starting point in our lives. We are connected to Adam and Eve and therefore we feel shame, and often continue to repeat shameful acts ourselves.
Welch believes it is very necessary to begin at the fall of Adam and Eve to truly know the truth about shame. He describes it as taking a walk, knowing that we feel shame because we are linked to a shameful family line in Adam and Eve, we can't escape it and we also have to recognize that we are not different from Adam, repeating his actions every day. Therefore he encourages us to stay on the walk of watching our family history unfold but also watch ourselves.
Shame says we are unpresentable. We often feel the shame before other people but are blind to the fact that shame is also, and primarily, before God. (p. 48) Welch continues to encourage us not to turn away in panic as we learn that just as Adam and Eve brought shame on themselves so do we. If we really want to know cleansing and acceptance we have to be able to distinguish between the shame that we bring on ourselves because of what we do, and the shame that comes from other people's actions to us. Identifying the shame because of our own actions is not easy or painless but it is necessary and relieving as it comes out into the open. Owning what we do wrong, and receiving God's forgiveness is often easier than when the shame is attached to us because of sins done against us.
When shame is made public, we begin to blame, Gen 3:11-13. Shame is disorienting, Welch tells us, often blaming ourselves when we shouldn't, and blaming others when we should be looking at ourselves. Satan wants us to believe bad things happen because we have been bad, but if we look at Jesus and the early disciples, we see bad things happen to them when they were not bad people. The Bible also shows us that if we are sinned against, it's not our fault (Dt 24:16, Ezek 18:18-23). Welch promises to talk more about this later.
On the other hand, when Adam and Eve fell, they blamed others when they should have been taking responsibility for their own choice. Welch explains that when we feel relentless condemnation and don't know where to go for forgiveness and cleansing, we look for a way to prove our innocence (p. 53).
Welch goes on very adamantly, "Whether blame leads you to take the blame for everything or shift the blame for everything, you will experience hopelessness. The only way out of this quagmire is to put things where they really belong. Own what is yours and only what is yours. It sounds easy, but if you have been living with shame, this one might be too advanced for your skill set, at least for now." (p. 53)
Since shame seems to be part of our fallen nature, Welch encourages us by explaining that God recognized this struggle at the very beginning, that our shame problem is important to God and He will DO something about it.
Which extreme do you lean toward: "It's all my fault," or "It's all the other person's fault"? How does the connection between shame and our associations hit you?
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Shame, before Christ
In the next seven chapters Welch now looks at how shame can be traced through three historical periods: before Jesus Christ, during Jesus' life on earth, and after Jesus' resurrection. In the first era he says shame begins as nakedness, followed by rejection and completed by contamination, with all three in contrast to God's holiness, making shame even more shameful. Ultimately however this contrast is intended to remind us of our need for covering, acceptance and cleansing that only God can give.
Naked without Shame
Welch tells us that the Bible is all about shame.
God identifies it.
God experienced it.
You are not alone.
Gen 2:25 describes Adam and Eve, both naked and not ashamed. BUT THAT CHANGED. Shame came into the picture:( But watch out, every step we take into God's story will bring a little more hope, sometimes gently -- feeling understood, other times so amazing it'll take our breath away. (p. 41)
The thing is though, Scripture is about shame from the beginning to the end and we have to figure out the texts to consider, and there are MANY of them, which should give us hope! In summary it is the GOSPEL, when we receive things we don't deserve!!. Welch adds a comment here, "if what follows doesn't sound like good news to you, you are not really hearing the story. On the other hand, if it sounds too good to be true, you are hearing correctly. Your heart and mind just need to catch up to its reality. YOU WON'T FIND THIS HOPE ANYWHERE ELSE (my emphasis)."
In the beginning there was no shame. People walked around with no shame, nude, with no concerns about their bodies, no concerns about what they had done, they feared no critical judgments because their bodies were flawless, they had done nothing wrong, no one was critical or condescending. Sounds wonderful!!!
We have to start there, according to Welch, because it's important to know that shame shouldn't be part of the human condition, so shame is like a thief, a robber, who shouldn't be there!!
The problem is though, that if I feel like I am shame, how do I get rid of myself, cleanse myself of me????? Scripture tells us that we have something absolutely amazing - better than Eden after the death and resurrection of Jesus. Scripture takes awhile to get to the details but "better" is definitely there!!
I pray that everyone may have the beginning of some hope at this point.
Naked without Shame
Welch tells us that the Bible is all about shame.
God identifies it.
God experienced it.
You are not alone.
Gen 2:25 describes Adam and Eve, both naked and not ashamed. BUT THAT CHANGED. Shame came into the picture:( But watch out, every step we take into God's story will bring a little more hope, sometimes gently -- feeling understood, other times so amazing it'll take our breath away. (p. 41)
The thing is though, Scripture is about shame from the beginning to the end and we have to figure out the texts to consider, and there are MANY of them, which should give us hope! In summary it is the GOSPEL, when we receive things we don't deserve!!. Welch adds a comment here, "if what follows doesn't sound like good news to you, you are not really hearing the story. On the other hand, if it sounds too good to be true, you are hearing correctly. Your heart and mind just need to catch up to its reality. YOU WON'T FIND THIS HOPE ANYWHERE ELSE (my emphasis)."
In the beginning there was no shame. People walked around with no shame, nude, with no concerns about their bodies, no concerns about what they had done, they feared no critical judgments because their bodies were flawless, they had done nothing wrong, no one was critical or condescending. Sounds wonderful!!!
We have to start there, according to Welch, because it's important to know that shame shouldn't be part of the human condition, so shame is like a thief, a robber, who shouldn't be there!!
The problem is though, that if I feel like I am shame, how do I get rid of myself, cleanse myself of me????? Scripture tells us that we have something absolutely amazing - better than Eden after the death and resurrection of Jesus. Scripture takes awhile to get to the details but "better" is definitely there!!
I pray that everyone may have the beginning of some hope at this point.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Shame and Disgust
Chapter 4 is the last chapter in uncovering shame and begins connecting the three human experiences:
"You feel like an outcast. You don't belong.
You feel naked. While everyone else is walking around with their clothes on, you feel exposed and vulnerable. You are seen, and what others see is not pretty.
You feel unclean. Something is wrong with you. You are dirty. Even worse, you are contaminated. There is a difference between being a bit muddy and harbouring a deadly, contagious virus." (p.27)
Tough, tough words but this is the only way to uncover, expose it because it is everywhere. Welch gives a list of places where it is seen -- depression, anger, anorexia, fear and withdrawal, exhibitionism, addiction, cutting, fears of being exposed, suicide, doubts that God could ever love you, you can't forgive yourself, you're a failure. Every culture has its worthless and honoured and Welch says the schoolyard is the world in miniature, where the caste system falls into place. The picked on are the most visible, but underneath the popular child's belittling and powerfulness, is often a child who goes home to an insecure attachment household. Their bravado is a coverup for the belittling they often perceive.
To really dig out shame we have to give it the tough language it truly describes:
unclean defiled disgraced dishonoured outcast worthless filthy unlovable loathed shunned discarded scorned disgusting repulsive vile
Sometimes it may mean opening up a number of different layers to truly get to the shame layer and sometimes shame at the extreme has no words. The only way we can express shame, according to Welch, is by doing disgusting things: vomiting, promiscuity, intentional failure in work or relationships.
Sometimes we do shame, sometimes we are shamed, and many times we are a combination of both (p.33). The world spits shame on other people and most recipients believe they deserve it (Num 12:14, Deut 25:8-9, WWII concentration camps dehumanizing Jews).
The language of shame is extreme and when we hear it often enough we believe it, but we cannot minimize it. Shame can be cleansed but we have to confront it. I'm going to finish today with Welch's words on p. 35, "To be human is to experience shame, but to be human is also to hope." You don't have to stay unclean forever!!
"You feel like an outcast. You don't belong.
You feel naked. While everyone else is walking around with their clothes on, you feel exposed and vulnerable. You are seen, and what others see is not pretty.
You feel unclean. Something is wrong with you. You are dirty. Even worse, you are contaminated. There is a difference between being a bit muddy and harbouring a deadly, contagious virus." (p.27)
Tough, tough words but this is the only way to uncover, expose it because it is everywhere. Welch gives a list of places where it is seen -- depression, anger, anorexia, fear and withdrawal, exhibitionism, addiction, cutting, fears of being exposed, suicide, doubts that God could ever love you, you can't forgive yourself, you're a failure. Every culture has its worthless and honoured and Welch says the schoolyard is the world in miniature, where the caste system falls into place. The picked on are the most visible, but underneath the popular child's belittling and powerfulness, is often a child who goes home to an insecure attachment household. Their bravado is a coverup for the belittling they often perceive.
To really dig out shame we have to give it the tough language it truly describes:
unclean defiled disgraced dishonoured outcast worthless filthy unlovable loathed shunned discarded scorned disgusting repulsive vile
Sometimes it may mean opening up a number of different layers to truly get to the shame layer and sometimes shame at the extreme has no words. The only way we can express shame, according to Welch, is by doing disgusting things: vomiting, promiscuity, intentional failure in work or relationships.
Sometimes we do shame, sometimes we are shamed, and many times we are a combination of both (p.33). The world spits shame on other people and most recipients believe they deserve it (Num 12:14, Deut 25:8-9, WWII concentration camps dehumanizing Jews).
The language of shame is extreme and when we hear it often enough we believe it, but we cannot minimize it. Shame can be cleansed but we have to confront it. I'm going to finish today with Welch's words on p. 35, "To be human is to experience shame, but to be human is also to hope." You don't have to stay unclean forever!!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Shame Through the Years
This chapter starts with :
What is Shame?
You are different
rejected
exposed
contaminated.
Then Welch goes on to show that shame is nothing new in this world, quoting a book by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter. In this book a woman must wear the letter A as punishment for her adultery, and even though the man involved did not have to publicly wear the letter he had privately etched the letter on his own chest. Most of us will notice a little bit of shame in our lives but some have reminders every day. The point of Welch's book is help you so that all shame is gone, whether private or public.
In earlier days when someone broke the law they stood in either stocks, where your feet were locked in yet your hands were free to defend yourself from things thrown at you, or a pillory where arms and head were locked in so you were totally defenseless. The good thing about either of the above is that when you were free, it was like a public announcement that you were now socially acceptable.
Shame is still the the main ingredient of punishments today, giving the punisher power, and the victim often tries to make sense of it by believing they got what they deserved. This is the most powerful lie that the devil wants us to believe so we must be very aware and ALWAYS assume that shame accumulates lies!!!!
Can we identify the scarlet A that we wear, either publicly or privately? What is that like? Can we begin to identify some of the lies that are attached to our shame?
What is Shame?
You are different
rejected
exposed
contaminated.
Then Welch goes on to show that shame is nothing new in this world, quoting a book by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter. In this book a woman must wear the letter A as punishment for her adultery, and even though the man involved did not have to publicly wear the letter he had privately etched the letter on his own chest. Most of us will notice a little bit of shame in our lives but some have reminders every day. The point of Welch's book is help you so that all shame is gone, whether private or public.
In earlier days when someone broke the law they stood in either stocks, where your feet were locked in yet your hands were free to defend yourself from things thrown at you, or a pillory where arms and head were locked in so you were totally defenseless. The good thing about either of the above is that when you were free, it was like a public announcement that you were now socially acceptable.
Shame is still the the main ingredient of punishments today, giving the punisher power, and the victim often tries to make sense of it by believing they got what they deserved. This is the most powerful lie that the devil wants us to believe so we must be very aware and ALWAYS assume that shame accumulates lies!!!!
Can we identify the scarlet A that we wear, either publicly or privately? What is that like? Can we begin to identify some of the lies that are attached to our shame?
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