The Peacemaker

I have finished the book "Having a Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver and I would recommend this book as a great book to have in our personal libraries. This is a good book to help us truly look at ourselves and ask God to change us from the inside out so that we might Glorify Him in all situations.

To go along with this book I would like to share my summary of the book "The Peacemaker" by Ken Sande so I have added a page to do this. This will probably take many weeks so I hope you may join me in working to make these Biblical principles a regular part of our lives. Please feel free to comment or discuss any points I have made whether through this blogspot or email me directly. I would love to hear from you.

Flesh Woman

Well, it's been a few days since my last post, but here I am again.
I've just started reading a new book "Having a Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver and I'm reading about what she describes as the Flesh Woman. She equates this with the person inside of us who represents our sinful flesh. The Bible tells us that there are three things we fight against on this earth: the world, the devil and our own flesh. Weaver has given a name to our flesh by calling it our Flesh Woman. I think she makes a good point here and it is good for us to recognize what our own Flesh Woman looks like. We all know we are rebellious and hardwired to sin but this description brings it home. On page 28 she profiles the Flesh woman having 11 characteristics: a prideful spirit, a love of praise, a touchy temper, a willful attitude, a fearful heart, a jealous mind, a dishonest disposition, a lack of faith, a wandering eye, a spiritual deadness, and a love of self. Hmmm, a lot of ticks I can put beside this list. But I also really liked the verse she wrote at the end:
"Search me, O God, and know my heart... see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (my bolding) Let's continue to look to God and what He has already done for us, asking for His Holy Spirit to work in us that we may live for Him.

Love and Respect

Hi Everyone,
I haven't had any comments lately but it is time to add something again. We have just thoroughly enjoyed a great weekend with our children and grandchildren, getting to know them, connecting with them again. God has blessed us with a great family and so often we take this for granted. As humans we often take the people in our lives for granted but God has placed them there for many different reasons.
I have been reading a book called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It's a book about marriage based on Ephesians 5:33, "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (underlining mine) From this book I have learned a lot, not only about marriage but about many things of life. My favourite part was the unpacking of Ephesians 6:7-8 "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does." Remembering that everything we do is done to Glorify God, is really important. It's not about me, my spouse, my children...., it's about God!
Don't let me play the victim card LORD, but let me look to You and find my strength in You.

Last questions from League Day

Good morning. The rains have returned here in the Carman, MB area. It feels like we get a tiny glimpse of what it was like for the family of Noah as they watched the flood waters rise. Thankfully we know God will never send a worldwide flood again, but those who are affected by this water in MB are really struggling, wondering what they will do next. Faith is definitely being tested and we pray that all God's children may find the strength to continue to trust, obey, imitate and acknowledge God in all this.

In this post I would like to look at the last group of questions people brought forward at our Women's League Day back in May.

1. Is one of the largest challenges with being an attachment church our size? We can't know everyone or be truly connected with each family. Should we have a close personal relationship with everyone, or should we work with a smaller circle and watch our for the ones who are left out? Is standing in a circle after church a good ritual, or are we showing that it is tight and no one can come in?

Having a large church can be a challenge in building connections but building connections is something we need to do as part of our thankfulness, using the fruit of the Spirit. Starting with a small group is good, making solid connections with a few but then don't be afraid to invite a family over for coffee or tea, someone you have never visited with before. Begin by practicing each Sunday to say a few words to the person walking out of church beside you, then picking up the phone and inviting them for coffee. Circles after church are good rituals but try to make your circles open, flowing, moving so that the people in them change or use your circle to envelop someone who is outside. Look for the people who leave church immediately after the worship service. This is where ushers could be useful in noticing and slowing these people down so that others get a chance to catch them. If you're a "shy" person, start small but try to force yourself to say a few words to one person each Sunday. God will be with us when we reach out to others in love.

2. Is forgiveness required even when it is not asked for or the person is NOT repentant of their actions?

I am going to quote from The Peacemaker by Ken Sande, pages 210-211:
Ideally repentance should precede forgiveness, Luke 17:3. Minor offenses can be overlooked but if the offense is too serious to overlook you may need to approach forgiveness as a 2-stage process. 1. Having an attitude of forgiveness - an unconditional commitment you make to God (see Mark 11:25; Luke 6:28; Acts 7:60). By His grace, you seek to maintain a loving and merciful attitude toward someone who has offended you. This requires making and living out the first promise of forgiveness, which means you will not dwell on the hurtful incident or seek vengeance or retribution in thought, word, or action. Instead, you pray for the other person and stand ready at any moment to pursue complete reconciliation as soon as he or she repents. This attitude will protect you from bitterness and resentment, even if the other person takes a long time to repent. 2. Granting forgiveness - conditional on the repentance of the offender and takes place between you and that person (Luke 17:3-4). It is a commitment to make the other 3 promises of forgiveness to the offender. Where there has been a serious offense, it would not be appropriate to make these promises until the offender has repented. Until then, you may need to talk with the offender about his sin or seek the involvement of others to resolve the matter. You could not do this if you had already made the last 3 promises. But once the other person repents, you can make these promises, closing the matter forever, the same way God forgives you.

Living a life of love for others and knowing the right thing to do at the right time is very difficult and we must remember we cannot do any of this in our own strength. We need God's help and guidance to come in and change our hearts so that we may truly forgive others. To Hm be the Glory!!

More questions from League Day

Good morning. It's not raining here and things are slowly drying up so it really is a good morning that God has given us. There are still a few questions from League Day which I would like to begin a discussion on. I am grouping a few of them together. Feel free to comment on anything I say.

1. Has the me-society which also becomes evident in the church make it harder to become attached to the church community? Love: God, others, yourself. What about the order: yourself, others, God? If you don't love yourself you cannot love others or God? Can we love our neighbour before loving ourselves? How can we love our neighbour if we cannot love ourselves?

To answer this question I looked to Don Matzat in his book "Christ-Esteem", where he writes, "While modern man wants to believe that he is good, worthwhile, valuable human being, he cannot escape the emptiness and meaninglessness of his own existence. In spite of all the self-help books and the media blitz attempting to convince him that he should feel good about himself and maintain a positive image of himself, our society is faced with an epidemic of drugs, alcohol, and suicide." When we put ourselves first and work to love ourselves it just can't happen, since we are broken sinners. It is only when we put God first and "open our eyes to the reality that, in addition to being our righteousness, Jesus Christ is also our identity, our life, our fulfillment, our pride, our hope, our peace, our joy, and our ultimate worth" (Matzat, p. 31). It is only through Christ/God that we can love ourselves, therefore the order has to be God, others, self as laid out in Mt 22:37.

Women's League Day May 18, 2011

I would like to begin with a comment that was brought forward and which is so necessary to keep in mind:
"There were some excellent ideas of things we can and should do. However, we are sinners and come short in all our attempts. Therefore, it is of vital importance that we daily pray for guidance and strength to be of help to others."
This comment is so very true and as I attempt to answer a few more questions brought forward on this day, putting a few together, we must truly keep this in mind.

1. Making connections
a. Why are there those who don't feel safe in the church, or don't have a desire to be near His people? Is this always sin on the part of the person, or on the part of the church community, or both? Is it possible for someone to be "unattached" simply because of their makeup? Not because of some external trauma or event? Something to do with election (do I dare say that)?

One thing we have to remember is that we all have a makeup of being sinful people in rebellion against God. Don Matzat in "Christ Esteem", describes this very well in that our first inclination is always to rebel, we don't want to go to church, we don't want to be with His people. It is only God through His mercy and grace that brings us to the point that we do go to church, be with His people. That doesn't mean we are not responsible for our rebellious attitude and there are times when people will not come to God's church because they are not elect. However that doesn't let us off the hook so that we don't reach out to others. Sometimes it was our words that caused a sensitive person to feel unloved, or judged and they stop coming to church. We are responsible for our words just as the other person is responsible for their response.

b. So how do we convince someone that although they have been mistreated by the church or church members in the past that doesn't mean everyone will treat them the same? How can we connect with those members who constantly keep their distance? Often these are the same people who complain about not feeling welcome.

Trust has been broken, how do we gain it back? Please keep the 3 legs of the stool in mind: trust, emotional availability and sensitive response. Reach out to these hurting people, who have put up fences of protection, and be there for them. One step at a time: a visit over coffee to show you can be trusted not to talk about them behind their back, just accept what they have to say without trying to "fix-it" because that often feels like judgment. "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God" Rom 15:7. Keep the 4 G's of Biblical Peacemaking in mind: Glorify God, Get the Log Out of your Own Eye, Go and Be Reconciled, and Gently Restore.
LISTEN!!

Welcome

Welcome to my new blogspot. I hope that you may all use it to get to know me and post questions for me to answer or others to contribute their answers.

I have a BA Social Sciences from the University of Western Ontario, London, ON, BEd from University of Winnipeg, MB, and MA Counseling from Providence Theological Seminary.

With my experience in teaching elementary and high school, I have a good understanding of the field of education and have a heart for all students with their very real concerns and issues. I would also like to come alongside women of all ages with issues such as depression, children, or staying emotionally involved in their relationships. However I am not limited to these two areas of counseling.

I bring to counseling my life experience, integrating my Christian theological, psychological and educational backgrounds by using attachment, cognitive behavioural and emotionally focused therapy under the umbrella of Biblical Peacemaking.