John 18:1-11

1 When he had finished praying, Jesus left with his disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side there was an olive grove, and he and his disciples went into it. 2 Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. 3 So Judas came to the grove, guiding a detachment of soldiers and some officials from the chief priests and Pharisees. They were carrying torches, lanterns and weapons. 4 Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, "Who is it you want?" 5 "Jesus of Nazareth,"they replied. "I am he," Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) 6 When Jesus said, "I am he," they drew back and fell to the ground. 7 Again he asked them, "Who is it you want?" And they said, "Jesus of Nazareth." 8 "I told you that I am he," Jesus answered. "If you are looking for me, then let these men go." 9 This happened so that the words he had spoken would be fulfilled: "I have not lost one of those you gave me." 10 Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant's name was Malchus.) 11 Jesus commanded Peter, "Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"

Can you imagine Peter, shaking in his boots, yet wanting to stick up for Jesus.  Then when he did something he thought was protecting Jesus, Jesus tells him to put the sword away.  Jesus didn't need Peter's protection.  He knew what was going to happen and was ready to do it.  He HAD to drink the cup the Father had given Him and I'm so glad He did.  I always feel bad for impetuous Peter, who thought he was doing the right thing but didn't truly understand who Jesus was.  It's so much easier for us because of Peter's, John's, Matthew's, Mark's and all the rest of the witnesses' stories to  know that all these things had to happen.  And yet, too often I forget, don't trust, don't believe and think I can power my way through just like Peter.  LORD please help my unbelief!

Wired to Be 3D

Today I'd like to share with you a post from Ken Sande and his work on Relational Wisdom.

God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and your relationships prosper. Ignore it and they inevitably suffer.

The 3D’s Are Everywhere

From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible teaches us how to relate to God (love, trust, worship, obey), how to engage ourselves (search your heart, self-control, put off/put on), and how to relate to our neighbors (love, forgive, encourage, serve).

Many passages in the Bible address all three dimensions. They start with a focus on God, move on to teach us how to understand and discipline ourselves, then show us how to serve our neighbors. Sometimes they do a full circle and close by focusing our attention on God a second time. For example:

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another,

as God in Christ forgave you (Eph. 4:30-32, ESV; see also Phil. 2:1-11; Matt. 22:27-29).

Frame's Tri-Perspectivalism

The three-dimensional pattern seen in Ephesians 4:30-32 is found throughout Scripture and creation. It is used over and over by God to communicate the glory of his name and works.

John Frame refers to this concept as “tri-perspectivalism.” As he writes in "A Primer on Perspectivalism," "In Scripture there is a pervasive pattern of threefold distinctions which, though mysterious, provide us with considerable illumination" (p. 4).

Frame illustrates this point vividly in The Doctrine of God. Appendix A of this book presents a list of 112 triads that occur in Holy Scripture (e.g., the Trinity and the three offices of Christ), non-Christian religion, ontology, epistemology, ethics, and the church, as well as in art, music, literature, and history (see his entire list in thison-line book preview, beginning on page 743).

Stott and Keller Make Three

Frame is not alone in seeing the pervasiveness of triads throughout Scripture and their value in framing our relationships. John R.W. Stott illustrates this pattern inThe Message of the Sermon on the Mount:

The three examples of 'religious' righteousness which Jesus gives [in Matthew 6:1-18]—almsgiving, praying and fasting—occur in some form in every religion. They are prominent, for example, in the Koran. Certainly Jews were expected to give to the poor, to pray and to fast, and all devout Jews did so….

This trio of religious obligations expresses in some degree our duty to God, to others and to ourselves. For to give alms is to seek to serve our neighbor, especially the needy. To pray is to seek God's face and to acknowledge our dependence on him. To fast (that is, to abstain from food for spiritual reasons) is intended at least partly as a way to deny and so to discipline oneself (p. 127).

Note that in the latter half of this passage, Stott specifically describes the three dimensions of human relationships (“duty to God, to others and to ourselves”).

Tim Keller makes a similar application of biblical triads in a series of three articles on preaching in the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation’s Journal of Biblical Counseling. Here is an example of his triadic organization:

Faithful, effective preaching embodies three aspects: the Biblical, the Situational, the Personal. A sermon honors God when a man, from his own heart, applies biblical truth to the hearts of his audience.

Let me put it another way. A preacher is effective when he (1) expounds Scriptural truth accurately, (2) adapts his message to the needs and capacities of his audience, and (3) speaks out of a heart on fire with the Holy Spirit.

These three elements make up any effective ministry of the Word: exposition of Scripture, audience adaption, and personal authenticity.  ("A Model for Preaching," Part 1, p 1; see related teachings in Part Two and Part Three).

These three are not alone. If you read much of Augustine, Luther, Calvin, Spurgeon, or any other noted theologian, you will soon run into similar three-dimensional teaching as they show us how to develop relationships that honor God.

Neglect One Leg and You’ll Suffer

A well-built three-legged stool provides a safe place to sit. But if just one of the legs comes loose or is broken, the stool becomes unstable and will soon toss you to the floor.

The same is true of our relationships. If we pay close attention to what God teaches us about the 3D’s of relationships (how to love him, discipline ourselves, and serve others), our lives are typically more stable, peaceful and fulfilling.

But if we neglect just one of these legs—by forgetting God (1 Sam. 12:9), failing to control our own desires (James 4:1-3), or ignoring those in need (1 John 3:17)—our lives are soon characterized by tension, conflict, and brokenness.

This is one of the major deficits of the popular psychological concept known as “emotional intelligence” or “EI,” a secular version of relational wisdom. By God’scommon grace, many EI researchers and practitioners provide valuable descriptiveinsights into human neurology and behavior. I myself have learned much from them and recommend many of their books.

But because most of these authors ignore the transcendence of God, the effect of sin, the need for the gospel, and the ministry of the Holy Spirit, EI teaching typically lacks the transformative power of the redemptive and relational teachings God has set forth in Scripture.

From Complexity to Simplicity: the SOG Plan

Three-dimensional … tri-perspectival … transcendence. It can all sound terribly complex, abstract, and irrelevant.

That’s why Corlette and I developed the relational wisdom (RW) paradigm (see diagram to the right). We want to thoroughly explore these crucial yet complicated theological concepts, use them like pillars grounded on the bedrock of God’s Word, and build on top of them a simple, user-friendly, and practical system that organizes the Bible's teaching on relationships.

The simplest application of RW is the SOG plan, which may be summarized as follows: If you want to enjoy stable and rewarding relationships, always seek to be Self-aware, Other-aware, and God-aware (to learn how to apply this concept, see this post).

Whether you’re digging into the deep theology of tri-perspectivalism or applying the simple steps of the SOG Plan, the goal is always the same: to live out the simplest and yet most rewarding relational system ever conceived, which is to love God with all your heart, and to love your neighbor as yourself … just as Jesus has loved you (Matt. 22:37-39; John 13:34-35).

- Ken Sande

Reflection Questions:

• Which of the three relational dimensions do you do most naturally? Why?
• Which one are you most likely to neglect? How does that effect your daily relationships?
• How do the three dimensions support one another? For example, if you fail to be God-aware, how does that impact your self-discipline and sensitivity toward others?
• If you want to strengthen your relationships, ask God to help you faithfully practice the SOG Plan for thirty days ... at which point you will be well on your way to making it a habit.

Finally, if you’d like to accelerate the development of resources to teach relational wisdom, please make an end-of-the-year donation or pledge through our website.

Permission to distribute: Please feel free to download, print, or electronically share this message in its entirety for non-commercial purposes with as many people as you like.

© 2013 Ken Sande

John 17:19-26

19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. 20 "My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23 I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24 "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25 "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

At Christmas time we just celebrated Christ's birth, a wonderful way for the whole world to be reminded that we're not here for ourselves but to bring God glory - Glory to God in the Highest and on earth peace to all men.  I'm sure many of us sang that song, whether in Dutch or English but isn't that what the above verses also tell us?  

Jesus wants us to be one with each other, just as God the Father is in Jesus and Jesus is in God the Father.  How can we do that in the daily details of our lives?  One way is to think SOG in every situation.  Make it your default setting or operating system.

Self-aware: How am I feeling and acting? More specifically …

• What am I feeling? (Typical answers: competitive, irritated, insecure, envious, embarrassed, defensive, frustrated, fearful, angry, hopeless)
• Why do I feel this way? (I failed at something. Didn’t get what I want. Fear I’ll lose something. Someone criticized me. Tried to control me. Betrayed me.)
• What am I inclined to do? (Assume I know more than others. Clam up. Speak too much or too forcefully. Accuse or justify. Press others to see things my way.)
• What will I do instead? (Listen patiently. Seek to understand. Avoid jumping to conclusions. Speak gently and graciously.)

Other-aware: How am I affecting others? More specifically …

• What do others seem to be feeling? (Note their words, body language, tone of voice)
• What do others seem to need? Want? Fear?
• How am I impacting others? (Am I confusing, irritating, frustrating, hurting, judging, manipulating, or punishing them?)
• Is this really the best time to talk, counsel, or correct?
• How can I serve others? Look out for their interests?
• How can I demonstrate genuine love and forgiveness?

God-aware: How is God involved? More specifically …

• Who is God? What is he like?
• What could he be up to in this situation?
• Am I acting in faith or unbelief? Do I trust in him or myself?
• What difference does the gospel make?
• How can I pray? What Scriptures can guide me?

How can I show that I love, trust, and obey God above all things?

John 17:5-18

5 And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. 6 "I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7 Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8 For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name--the name you gave me--so that they may be one as we are one.12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. 13 "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.

Couple of things stand out for me in this passage.  I really get the sense of Jesus and God being one here, that Jesus was there before the creation of the world, that He only says what the LORD gives Him to say which makes sense when they are one and the same.

Then there's the comfort that Jesus came for His people, not the whole world - a really good explanation of predestination, Romans 8 and Ephesians 1.  When I want to talk about God, am really sorry for my sins, then I KNOW I am one of His children.  So then I also know that He protects me from the evil one in this world.  Even when I work with, or hang out with people from the world, I am still protected by Jesus although He also warns me not to put myself in situations that will tempt me to fall away. Think of the Lord's prayer "Lead me not into temptation..."

Again that theme which started right from John 1, that Jesus is the WORD, and when we read His WORD, reflect on it asking the Holy Spirit to really work it into our hearts, we ARE protected.

John 17: 1-4

1 After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: "Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. 2 For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. 3 Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 4 I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.
  
This is the chapter where Jesus prays and I always think how great an example this is for us.  In these verses Jesus is praying for Himself but He never asks anything for Himself except for God to use Him to Glorify God!  That reminds me of Ken Sande's first G in Biblical Peacemaking - Glorify God.  No matter what situation we're in if we simply ask ourselves, How can I glorify (praise and honour) God in this situation? the results will give us peace.  It is also through these verses that I have come to learn how important it is to personally know who God is and where He is in my life at any given moment of my day.  Is He helping me type these words, encouraging me not to play too many games on the computer, holding my hand when I hurt so much I just cry....  Where is He in the details of your life?

John 16:17-33

17 Some of his disciples said to one another, "What does he mean by saying, 'In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me,' and 'Because I am going to the Father'?" 18 They kept asking, "What does he mean by 'a little while'? We don't understand what he is saying." 19 Jesus saw that they wanted to ask him about this, so he said to them, "Are you asking one another what I meant when I said, 'In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me'? 20 I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. 21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. 22 So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. 23 In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 24 Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. 25 "Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. 26 In that day you will ask in my name. I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf. 27 No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. 28 I came from the Father and entered the world; now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father." 29 Then Jesus' disciples said, "Now you are speaking clearly and without figures of speech. 30 Now we can see that you know all things and that you do not even need to have anyone ask you questions. This makes us believe that you came from God." 31 "You believe at last!" Jesus answered. 32 "But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me. 33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

When I read these verses, although Jesus was talking to His disciples just before His death, I believe He is also talking to me now.  We live on this earth, weeping and mourning as the world rejoices in feminism and free choice.  We suffer in our own pain of sickness, death, financial troubles, etc, feeling at times that God does not hear us as we ask in Jesus' name but in a "little while" Christ will return and all our troubles will be like the woman going through a painful birth.  Our pain and grief will be turned to JOY as we live in that beautiful room Jesus has prepared for us!!!  Come LORD Jesus Maranatha!!!!!  

John 16:5-16

5 "Now I am going to him who sent me, yet none of you asks me, 'Where are you going?' 6Because I have said these things, you are filled with grief. 7 But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. 8 When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: 9 in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me; 10 in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; 11 and in regard to judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned. 12 "I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. 13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. 14 He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. 15 All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you. 16 "In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me."

Again the words "He will not speak on His own, He will speak only what He hears" struck me.  It really helps me understand the triune God because although Father, Son and Holy Spirit each have their own personhood, task, they never say anything that is different from the other.  This is also comforting for me since, as I learn about who I am as a daughter of God, adopted through Jesus, I realize that the Holy Spirit also works in me, convicting me of my sins, but reassuring me of His love since He sent His Son to die on the cross for me, that my sins are also paid for by Christ.  The more I get to know God, the more I love Him and what He has done for me and the more I WANT to know Him, hungering to hear His Word proclaimed, read, sung.  Yet at the same time my sinful nature still is my default position and on the other hand I don't really want to take the time to read His Word, hear His Word proclaimed, or sing songs of praise to Him.  Thankfully Christ did leave this earth and send the Holy Spirit to make me do all those things I don't want to do - Romans 7.

John 16:1-4

1 "All this I have told you so that you will not go astray. 2 They will put you out of the synagogue;in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God. 3They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me. 4 I have told you this, so that when the time comes you will remember that I warned you. I did not tell you this at first because I was with you.

Knowing God is SO important!  When I read these verses how someone will kill because they think they are offering a service to God, I think of Saul/Paul who we read about in Acts.  Saul was a very important Jew who thought he knew the law perfectly and was willing to kill Christians.  He was there when Stephen was stoned, giving permission to the others to stone him, and yet God did a wonderful work in his heart, meeting him on the road, blinding him and asking him why he was persecuting Jesus.  When I know that God can make these wonderful changes in a prideful, know-it-all man like Saul and turn him into a strong, God-fearing Paul, then I know He can change my pride, jealous and competitive heart and turn it to something good as a witness to Him.  What idols are you struggling with that you pray God will help you overcome?  Don't forget to pray that His Holy Spirit will be with you today in all the details of your life. 

John 15:18-27

18 "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. 23 He who hates me hates my Father as well. 24 If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: 'They hated me without reason.' 26 "When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. 27 And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.

Quite a bit in these verses is pretty confusing to me but what stands out for me is that God chose me out of the world!  I am so thankful for that, but then people make comments about Christians in general or me specifically and I have to remember how persecuted Christ was.  I want to remember that it's not me personally they are attacking but Christ but that also makes me angry.  Just like if someone says something bad about my children I can get pretty in your face, momma bear style.  I don't like it when people disrespect God, just wish I could say things to defuse the situation and witness to who God is by my behaviour.

John 15:1-17

1 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8 This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. 9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

These verses have to be some of my most favourite ones in the Bible!  I love the way they shows attachment, showing that God is our compass point and the only way we can figure out our direction in life is to be attached to Him.  This is what I believe covenant is -- that God chose us to be His children, promising to love us, protect us and give us everything we need for salvation.  The key is to remain in Him and that's why reading His Word, listening to His Word on Sundays, praying to Him all day long, or reading/listening to other books that help us stay close to Him is so important.